Supplemental Jurisdiction

I'm not Jewish.

Ok, so I just got back from the library and I saw this video.

Two things I love about it:

1) Henry Winkler
2) This lyric: "When she described her underwear I forgot all the rules my rabbi taught me in the old shul."

Stop!

In response to Bub's latest post:

He'll be awarded a Grammy posthumously.

My favorite part is when Rowlf shows up.

Hot or Not?

On my way to work, there is this billboard announcing a Kelly Clarkson concert in town this summer, and every time I pass by it, I wonder:  "Do I find Kelly Clarkson attractive?"

Seriously.  Usually I have no trouble making up my mind about whether a girl is attractive or not.  For example, Beyonce is hot.  Margret Thatcher on a cold day, not hot.  But with Kelly Clarkson, I can't get a bead on her.  When I'm watching VH1 in the morning (part of my morning routine, where I flip to during Sportscenter commercials), I will literally press my nose to the screen trying to look at her close enough to make a decision.  I mean, she looks kind of hot at first, but then you take another look and she's kind of manly too, which is cool if you're into that sort of thing, but I'm not into it.  It really drives me nuts, but for weeks I've been leaning toward "not hot."

So, in Slate this week, an article on American Idol sort of addressed the problem:

And [choosing Taylor Hicks] would continue the Idol voters' streak of choosing talent over beauty—think of pretty boy Justin Guarini falling to Kelly Clarkson, who despite the best efforts of a battery of stylists still looks more like a Dutch mastiff than Jessica Simpson.

In case you were wondering what a Dutch mastiff is:

Kelly Clarkson

Pug (Dutch mastiff)

Upon further review, that was probably an apt description.  I mean, you've got to appreciate what they're trying to do with her, but in the end, she's really just an average looking person, just like the rest of us.  And that's ok.  Except that I demand hotties on my freeway billboards.  Do you hear me?  I demand it.  I'm writing my Congressman right now . . .

Old School

MTV played this video back in 2000 to a lot of controversey.  A lot of people thought it bordered on racism (see some of the comments to the video on YouTube), and rumor has it Dynamite Hack even received a death threat.

Personally, I think the video is a commentary on white kids' consumption (especially in suburbia) of rap culture.  A significant percentage of rap sales, if not the majority, are the result of white suburban purchasers.  See Eric Boehlert, GOP "play hatas," Slate, Apr. 23, 2004.  Not to go into too much detail here (this is not what I use SJ for), but I think the tension many feel due to this video is not much different from what Dave Chappelle went through when he quit his show.  In a Time magazine interview, he explained, "I want to make sure I'm dancing and not shuffling."  See John Farley, On the Beach with Dave Chappelle, Time, May 15, 2005.

In any event, I enjoy the song and the video for its parody on suburbia.  For a better and more in dept analysis, check out Mickey Hess, "Don't quote me boy": Dynamite Hack covers NWA's "Boyz-N-The-Hood," Popular Music & Society (May 2005).

For another crazy NWA cover, click here.

The Grammys Are Awesome

Remember, like, 7 years ago when we used to sit around and argue about who was hotter:  Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?  It is safe to say that we now have a definitive answer. Compare this with this.

Editor's Note:  I've been planning this "joke" for a couple of days now, so imagine how lucky I felt when I read this story about how child welfare officials dropped in on Spears to make sure her baby's ok and everything . . . CONSIDERING HE HAS A POSSIBLE SKULL FRACTURE BECAUSE HE WAS DROPPED FROM A HIGH CHAIR AND WASN'T TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL UNTIL SIX DAYS LATER.

Man, sorry for yelling like that, but I just get a little upset everytime I think about how K-Fed destroyed Britney's hotness.  I'm no lawyer, but I'd say that's a crime against humanity.  Oh, wait, I AM a lawyer . . . .